My academic career
thedefenderoftheearth: 2001: Present:
I am going to walk down the aisle to the guitar...
Fox and Friends Corrections SNL
Kentucky Derby losers are not turned into Ikea meatballs. Dzhokhar Tsarnaev did not accidentally blow up vowels in his own name. The chupacabra does not deliver presents on Cinco de Mayo. President Obama does not want to take away T-shirt guns. Most women have only two breasts. The Memphis Grizzlies are not a gay blues band. Scientology was not founded by I Ron Man. Bangladesh is not an...
gru-ff: you’ve become so damaged, that when someone wants to give you, what you deserve you have no idea, how to respond.
me: time for bed
stomach: LET'S EAT 15 CHEESEBURGERS WITH ICE CREAM CAKE AND POTATO CHIPS WITH AN ENTIRE TACO BELL ON THE SIDE
brain: HEY REMEMBER ALL THOSE WORRIES, IDEAS, ASPIRATIONS AND OTHER ANXIOUS THOUGHTS WELL NOW YOU DO
muscles: I HURT FOR AN UNEXPLAINED REASON LIKE ARE YOU GROWING DO YOU HAVE A DISEASE LOL IDK HELP
skin: LET'S PLAY A GAME CALLED ARE YOU ITCHY OR DID A SPIDER EGG SACK JUST BIRTH ON YOU
ears: THERE'S A JET PLANE 500 MILES AWAY ALSO I THINK THE NEIGHBOR IS VACUUMING
eyes: WOW EVER NOTICE HOW IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY INTO PITCH BLACKNESS YOU CAN ALMOST SEE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE
mouth: IT'S DEATH VALLEY UP IN HERE
body: HAVE FUN TOSSING AND TURNING FOR THE NEXT 2 HOURS
nothingbecomingsomething: weightlesslives: Posting on Tumblr is like talking to your cat. You don’t know if they are listening, and you don’t know if they care, but for some reason, it still helps. This might be the most accurate thing I’ve read ever
ignitionremix: shawty got low low low low low shawty is my bank account balance shawty is my GPA
reyairia: 70% of editing is just looking at ur work for a few hours with this face
croutoncat: The year is 2070, and famous musician Justin Timberlake has just died. People all over the world start crying, it’s a global catastrophe, but soon something emerges. An entire lake of human tears, spanning all the way across the Americas, has been formed. Justin Timberlake’s dream of someone ‘Crying him a river’ has been finally fulfilled, he can now rest in peace.
Just remember that sometimes, the way you think about a person isn’t the way...– John Green, Paper Towns (via ceedling)
paper-mache-soldiers: theperksofbeinga-cunt: jonnovstheinternet: In Romania they have box Vodka. It’s 37.5% and it comes with a fucking straw. 🙌 Yes please
omfgcate: dqdbpb: we’re halfway thru april, u know what tht means? #ITS GONNA BE MAY #dead
Me: #PartyLikeAHope Adeolu: You put that on Tumblr and I will reblog the shit out of it! Well here you go Adeolu.
I'm applying for a job.
Like a real adult freelance job. Writing for a cheerleading magazine. Like, how more perfect could that be for me?
When other people talk about how much they love...
whatshouldwecallme: I’m just like,